That one person in your club....

I will start with a disclaimer: This post is not about anyone currently at my current gym.

With that being taken care of, there will probably that one person that chaps your ass at whatever gym you go to (specifically when you first start). I imagine I have been that person (I like to talk a lot, I know this about myself). When I trained in Denver, I showed up to a gym and tried to observe all the proper etiquette. I introduced myself to the instructor, I told them how long I had trained, etc. My hope was that they would see I was trying to fit in and welcome me with open arms.

When it came time to roll live, I saw a glance between the instructor and a rather large guy that was one of their better grapplers. The instructor said, "Bill, why don't you role with Clancy." I was cool with that, introduced myself and told him "thanks" for welcoming me to the gym. The whistle went off and he went balls to the wall on me. I ended up putting him in "x-guard", he bench pressed me off of him (after I got the sweep), got on top and ground his forearm in my face.

After about 3 minutes of stellar "forearm to face" technique, I tried a sweep, he got "Thor's hammer" on me, I tapped. It was not the first time I have tapped, certainly will not be the last. He smiled at me and said, "Now you're officially welcomed to class."

Sub was something like this.

Looked over at the instructor and they gave a nod and a smirk. As if to say, "Good job bro! Let's do Cross-fit later and compare tribal tattoos!"

I am a pretty chill guy, but I would be lying if I didn't say this whole incidence pissed me off. At that moment I said to myself, "Game on f*cker, I am going to choke you out at some point." For the next 5 months my goal was to beat him. Anytime that mat was open, I was there. Anytime we had live rolls, I called him out. After the first couple rolls we would end up in stalemates for the duration of the roll (he really didn't have great technique). Around the 4 month mark, I was putting him in really bad positions. Then, one day it happened! I got him in an omoplata, he summersaulted, I kept his arm, stepped into a mounted triangle, he tapped (kind of quick). Victory!

I don't think he was experienced at being tapped. He punched the mat, yelled, stomped around a bit. When we started rolling again, he really increased the dick moves (e.g., digging finger nails into my hands, bending fingers around to break my grip). My immediate response was to return fire. That would have been the easy response. It happens a lot in gyms. Guys start going hard, one gets a little cheap, the other one pays him back, next thing you know everyone is looking at everyone else with the look that says, "should we stop this?" At that moment I decided no amount of aggression on my part would change his attitude. I simple had to worry about getting better. I still rolled with him, but I ignored him and his dick moves when I could. Also, if you live for beating that one person, what do you do once you beat them? Quit, find another person, join Crossfit?

I feel like there are two types of "that person" at a gym. One is the person I describe above. The other one is the club-mate who beats you all the time, you train hard, and you finally beat them (maybe there is something about them you don't like as well). In that moment, they could get dirty and mad, and maul you. But, they high-five you, say "great job" and let you have your moment. To have someone excited about tapping you really is a huge sign of respect. Maybe you still don't like them, That fine, you don't have to like everyone, but there will probably be a good amount of respect between the two of you.

As you progress from new "Bambi" like white belt, to experienced BJJ practitioner, remember that new guys look up to you. They emulate your style. And once they get a sub on you, it is a big deal. They may even point out it is the first time they subbed you (I remember the first time I subbed our instructor, I floated out of the gym). Give them their moment, high-five them. It is OK to roll hard with them on the next go, but don't be that person who is going to make them pay for a tap by beating the crap out of them. Get better, not bitter.

Bro, it doesn't matter that he outweighs you by 70 pounds, you do BJJ...

I understand where the romantic notion comes from. The one where people think anyone who does a martial art can beat people twice their size in mortal combat. I grew up watching Kung Fu movies where a tiny master took out six guys with one hand and then made a witty comment (your Master should have taught you respect).

 I was in awe when Royce Gracie beat Dan Severn when I watched the fourth UFC in 3rd grade.

Royce beating dudes...

When I heard BJ Penn fought at heavyweight, it only further reinforced the idea that all martial artists can beat up anyone (regardless of size).

Penn vs Machida

 Let it also be known that I am not a big guy. I am about 5'8" and weigh around 160 pounds. It has been my experience in all of the sports I have played and the few fights I have gotten into, that size matters.

Picture of Jeff Curran, Marcelo Garcia and me, to help you gauge my size...and remind you I hangout with Jeff and Marcelo

I am stubborn though and held onto the belief that someday I would learn a martial art and pummel men much larger than myself. As a senior in college I took Hapkido, then Judo and Sambo when I moved to Kansas City. Finally, I ended up in Waterloo, IA and landed at a great BJJ gym. I now have around 6-7 years of BJJ experience and about 10-11 years of martial arts/grappling. What follows below are my heartfelt words on the role weight/size plays in BJJ, grappling and fisticuffs.

To start, size matters. If size didn't matter, there would be no weight classes in the UFC, BJJ tournies, etc. However, skills can certainly overcome size disadvantages. Case in point, every once in awhile we have a new, strong, young lad come into our gym. Typically, they have a lot of wrestling experience and feel like they are going to run through everyone we train with. It has become our time-honored tradition to find a smallish, white belt (the dorkier looking the better) and deem them our "gatekeeper." His or her job is dispense humble pie to all jerks who darken our door step. When it comes to an unskilled combatant against a skilled BJJ practitioner in a controlled BJJ gym, size doesn't matter that much. On a side note, I once held the gatekeeper title because there is nothing more deflating than a soft, middle aged, college professor dealing out punishment.

Check out Riley Breedlove tooling high school wrestlers in a park. 

When it comes to the effectiveness of BJJ on the streets, it is also pretty useful for people of all sizes. Luckily (and to my low-key disappointment) I have never had to use my "jitz" in a real fight. But, all you need to do is look up videos online or check the BJJ message boards. Given the option between wildly throwing haymakers and/or trying to tackle someone when I have little to no experience, I would rather have the BJJ on my side. With that being said, you never know who is getting into a fight with you. They might have trained forever, maybe they are a golden gloves boxer, maybe they are an X-Men (probably the least likely scenario).

If I was an X-Men I like to think I would be Nightcrawler 

 If you are looking to get into BJJ just to kickass at the bar, maybe you should instead just go to AA.

Watch this video, it is worth it. 

When Jiu-Jitsu meets Jiu-Jitsu is typically when size advantage plays the largest role. Yes, there are some great instances of smaller BJJ players beating bigger opponents (Marcelo vs Ricco Rodriguez or Makenzie Dern vs Gabi), but most of the time a bigger competitor wins the absolutes at a large international tourney.

Marcelo vs Ricco

Mackenzie Dern vs Gabi 

2013 road to ADCC absolute for Cyborg

In my personal experience, skill greatly compensates for a size advantage. We have several newer blue belts who are much bigger than me and I can hold my own. However, we have a brown belt who is close to my size and he absolutely railroads me. There is a purple belt at another school who I am 25ish pounds heavier than and I can typically control him because of my extra fluff (that is what I call my "Dad-bod" parts).

In an extremely simplified sense, skill can make up for weight/strength deficits and weight/strength can make up for skill deficits. I try to use this to my advantage by always saying I weight less than I do, and asking for the weight of a person who tapped me. If there is more than a 10 pound difference, I blame it on their girth and get to keep my ego.

In short, if you are looking to do BJJ because you think you will become a Super Sayian who can beat people 5 times your size, you will be disappointed. But, if you want to take BJJ to improve your confidence, feel more safe if in a dangerous situation or hopefully get a chance to tool "d-bags" that get off on pushing around little guys/girls, you are in the right sport. Just remember, the ability/right to beat people bigger than you is earned from years (and I mean years) of getting beat on that mat, it is not a training montage type of thing.

Don’t worry about your belt rank, but seriously keep coming in to get promoted….a comment on promotions in BJJ

Welcome back from Thanksgiving ya’ll. Hopefully you stuffed yourself with food and then tried to roll, resulting in someone getting sick on the mat. It really is the only way to go.

The weekend before Thanksgiving our instructor (The Honorable Greg Halsor) promoted two of our white belts to blue. Aside from live rolling, belt promotions for other students are one of my favorite things our club does. We are a tight-knit club and we do not promote quickly. So, when someone finally achieves a higher belt, it is a pretty big deal. A belt promotion is also a success for all the higher belts. There was a lot of time and effort put into my progression (as a white belt and currently as a blue belt) and my teammates should (hopefully) feel equally responsible for any success I achieve.

With all that being said, belt promotions in BJJ are a lot different from other martial arts. First off, when a student is given their belt many school have different ceremonies to recognize the achievement. Some gyms whip students with their belts,

 Greg and Jeff Curran have always thrown us, 

The throws look basically like this....

other gyms visit a Turkish Bathhouse (I am not sure if that is true, but it sounds plausible). 

I like the idea of throwing students, it reminds students that no matter your rank, you are doing this to practice the art. I don’t get the belt whipping, it seems unnecessarily punitive (Caio Terra doesn't agree with the belt whip). Turkish Bathhouse is cool if that is your type of thing.

The other enigma related to belts in BJJ is how a student is actually promoted. The process is awkward to say the least. Some schools have a set testing curriculum (our organization is moving that way), other schools just promote when a student is ready, and still others have been accused of only requiring money. In addition, the length of time a practitioner has to spend at each belt varies greatly by school. The IBJJF has a set standard, 

as do several other organizations. With that being said, belt promotions are really handled from school/organization to school/organization.

However, there is one thing that every BJJ gym I have went to says to all new students, “Don’t worry about your rank, just come in and train.” There are undertones of this saying I love and their implications I do not. First, I think one of the main goals of this statement is to remind students that they are only as good as their ability to roll on the mat. Simply put, if you are a black belt and get handled by blue belts in live rolling, does that really mean you are a black belt (see this link for an extended discussion on promoting people too quick)? It is best for the new student to focus on learning and improving their ability to roll with their teammates. Great lesson, everyone should read it 10 times before they go to bed.

It also reminds students that they should trust their instructor and higher belts to be mentors to them. The higher belts and instructors will be there to give new students instruction, feedback and encouragement. With that, if they show up and participate the belt will come. BJJ really is an outstanding environment in that way. Also, it rewards hard work and dedication…more than a deep pocketbook (this link is a great article on charging for belt promotions).

On the downside, “don’t worry about the belt…but keep coming in and training and working towards the belt” is really ambiguous. As anyone who has participated in BJJ knows, it is a sprint not a marathon. 2-4 years to a blue belt (in some schools) is a crazy long time. To add to this ambiguousness, many instructors are not great at communicating with their students about their progress and the expectations for promotion (for the most part this is not our school or organization). Finally, students pay a lot of money to participate in BJJ (most of it well earned by the instructors, I understand they run a business). This all adds up to a very arduous slog towards progress. Yes, progress needs to be an internal desire on the student’s part, but desire is fostered by success and vice-versa. We had a former students who had outstanding attendance, busted his butt to get his blue belt. Finally, he tested for it, received it and then never showed up again. Some of that is on him, but I also think the process of working towards that belt burnt him out.

What is a new student to do? First off, pick a good school. An instructor that is honest and cares about BJJ and their students will solve many of these problems. Second, set intermediary goals on your way to getting a belt. Some schools “stripe” belts, which is a great bit of encouragement. But, students should also remind themselves when they achieve a success. Did they last 40 seconds against the purple belt when they typically last 20? They should buy themselves a McFlurry on the way home…unless they are lactose intolerant, then they might want to go with some McNuggets.

Can't all be this happy everyday....

What has helped me the most (remember, I am for sure not the “fore most” expert on this stuff) has been to seek feedback from upper belts. They are typically amazingly encouraging. When I started out there was a blue belt named Brian whom kicked the crap out of me all the time. However, after we would get done rolling, he always had something complimentary to say. Such as, “wow, you are getting your guard back quick when I pass it” or, “dang you didn’t feel nearly as close to a dead fish as you did before.” I remember driving home and thinking, “if someone that good notices my advancement, it must really be happening.” When I asked for feedback he happily gave it to me. When he learned a new move that suited my style and skill level, he eagerly showed it to me. This all kept me coming back. I try to emulate that quality to our new guys and it seems to keep them around.  

Shut up and take my money!....A comment on buying equipment.

So, you have made the decision to start BJJ. You have researched schools, read about the Gracie lineage, and even practiced leg locks on your dog. You are driving to your first night and then you have a moment of panic....what should you wear? Should you stop at the local TKD club and get a dobok?

Maybe this is a gym that wears wrestling singlets???

Ohhh my.....

Have no fear, I can honestly say your best bet is to go to your first class and talk to the instructor. Every gym is a little different. At our gym, we are happy to let people try class for a few weeks and then make a commitment to buy a gi. Other gyms don't use gis. Some gyms will have you buy one the first night. The main thing is not to panic.

With that being said, if the gym you go to uses a gi (and in my opinion training in the gi is really important) you will want to buy a decent one to start out. That is not to say you need to plunk down $350 on a used Shoyoroll, but you should get one that fits well.

A couple reasons:

1. A nicer gi (roughly between $90-$175) is going to fit well. It seems odd in a rough and tumble sport that fit is important. However, I have owned a good number of gis and I have had several that fit weird. They quickly were at the bottom of my rotation and the money I spent on them was wasted. Honestly, if you stick with BJJ you will end up with 2-5 gis at anytime. If you have one that just doesn't fit right, you won't wear it. 
2. That money spent is going to force you to commit to coming. I don't like to spend money on useless items. When I plunk down what amounts to 15 - Six Pack and a Pounds, I am going to make sure I use that item. 
3. A new gi makes you feel badass! You are going to wear it around your house when you get it. That is fine, take some pictures, trash talk the mirror, try to choke your significant other out with the lapel, live your life. 

The main thing to remember, you need to ask your instructor what they prefer. Our gym is pretty loose with the type of stuff you can wear. Some gyms only want white or blue gis. Don't plunk down what amounts to 30 - KFC $5 Fill-ups and then have to sell it. If your gym has no rules, talk to your gym-mates, try on their gis. You are going to find they are really excited to share their knowledge. Currently, I roll in a 2 Fuji gis and a 12NV gi. They range in price between $120-$150. I previously owned a $200 Atama and really couldn't tell the difference between it and my cheeper gis.  

As far as other equipment you might want to invest in (probably over your first 6-12 months):

• A mouth piece. I chipped my tooth in June of this year. Like all issues, I just assumed it would resolve itself. It sure didn't, I further chipped it 3 months later. My dentist was impressed with how bad I chipped it! She did not give me a reward for my insolence. She did give me a $400  bill (that is 40 - Drunken Noodles at Ginger Thai). Protect those pearly whites. Most $5-$10 mouth guards will do. 

• A pair of grappling shorts. You can get by with basketball shorts or athletic shorts for awhile. But, eventually they will get annoying. They will slip off, they don't stretch as well. There are tons of different types of grappling shorts on the market. In my experience, grappling shorts below $20ish dollars are crap. Anything above will do just fine. A $60 pair of shorts is not 2x better than a $30 pair. I just got a pair of Jaco shorts from BJJHQ.com . It has some great rolling deals, if you are in to that type of thing.

Checkout my new Jaco shorts.

• Compression shorts, nut-cup, bra with reinforced cups. Mix and match for your primary and secondary sexual trait needs.
• A rash guard/compression shirt. This is one of those things you don't have to drop a lot of money on. I rolled in a $5.99 Champion compression shirt for my first 5-6 years and thought it was great. I upgraded to a $30 compression shirt from Meerkatsu and really like it. You can get rash guards for $60 (if they are blessed by Marcelo Garcia....I hear you will get the power of flight). The upside of a more expensive rash guard are the cool graphics and the quality of the shirt. There are some really neat looking rash guards on the market. The other big advantage of a more expensive rash guard is the quality of the material. It is thicker and holds shape longer. Finally, you will find both long sleeve and short sleeve. I like to rub my arm hair in peoples' faces, so I go short. 

This is my current rash guard

That is about it. You really can get by spending $200-$250 dollars over the course of your first year. You can also drop well over a grand if you have that money. However, the more you compete and the more serious you get, the nicer equipment you will probably want. Also, the more you train, the more equipment you will need...because you will wash your gi. Believe me, the last thing you want to be is the smelly kid. 

F@**@*#*@($(*(#CK…A comment on dealing with frustration

It happens to all of us, we think we are making progress. We have made it to tons of classes, we are practicing moves and then you go up against your “white whale.”

A quick diversion from the initial story, a person’s “White Whale” is a term stolen from Moby Dick. In the book, Captain Ahab is obsessed with catching Moby Dick (a white whale) that took his leg below the knee. See it is apt for the post because a person’s white whale is someone they really want to submit.

Back to the main point, we all have the one person in class who subs us, over and over again. Humility is important in Jiu-Jitsu, but so is a desire to get better. It is Ok to want to submit guys who are better than you, it shows you care about your progression. So, you go up against your “white whale” and POW! 

They submit you. You shake it off and then POW!!! Same move! It happens again and again. You can feel that heat rise up in your cheeks, you start talking to yourself, you are getting really frustrated.

I will be the first to admit, this happens to me. Recently, I have been getting caught in knee bars…all the damn time. It bothers me, the other day I punched a wall after getting caught twice in a roll by the same knee bar. 

Dumb idea, the wall didn’t knee bar me and it didn’t really get hurt when I punched it. I ruminated on the fact I got subbed by the same move on the way home. I Googled, “ways to stop knee bars”, “how to not get caught in knee bars”, “why do communists only use knee bars?”, “Why are Sambo kurtkas red? Is it because they are communists who use knee bars?” Needless to say, I am invested in solving this knee bar problem. Which I think is one of the few times where frustration can really benefit a person in BJJ.

In my experience, there are two types of people who get frustrated in BJJ. There are the people that quit when they reach a level of frustration and people who persevere. The former are not able to handle the fact that they don’t get a move or keep getting beat by a move or the same person beats them over and over. They look for immediate rewards, which come often when you start BJJ. As a person moves along in BJJ, those gains become less frequent. The extrinsic motivation fades and they end up quitting.

Could be worse! Am I right?!?!?

However, the other type of person looks at the issue causing frustration as a problem to solve. They take agency of their problem and look for solutions. Eventually, they will solve that problem and their motivation is reward with a new challenge. In this way, frustration is great, it motivates BJJ practitioners to get better.

If I were to give advice to myself starting out 6 years ago, I would say to try to solve problems for myself early on. This ability to take agency for my own development will serve be a huge advantage when I am one of the top 4 or 5 people at my gym or when I am coaching. At this point, there may be no one at the gym that can answer my question about stopping the inverted guard, I will have to figure it out on my own.  As long as I look at it like a puzzle I can solve, the frustration will only motivate me.

P.S. Still working on stopping that knee bar, thanks Doodles