With that being taken care of, there will probably that one person that chaps your ass at whatever gym you go to (specifically when you first start). I imagine I have been that person (I like to talk a lot, I know this about myself). When I trained in Denver, I showed up to a gym and tried to observe all the proper etiquette. I introduced myself to the instructor, I told them how long I had trained, etc. My hope was that they would see I was trying to fit in and welcome me with open arms.
When it came time to roll live, I saw a glance between the instructor and a rather large guy that was one of their better grapplers. The instructor said, "Bill, why don't you role with Clancy." I was cool with that, introduced myself and told him "thanks" for welcoming me to the gym. The whistle went off and he went balls to the wall on me. I ended up putting him in "x-guard", he bench pressed me off of him (after I got the sweep), got on top and ground his forearm in my face.
After about 3 minutes of stellar "forearm to face" technique, I tried a sweep, he got "Thor's hammer" on me, I tapped. It was not the first time I have tapped, certainly will not be the last. He smiled at me and said, "Now you're officially welcomed to class."
Sub was something like this.
Looked over at the instructor and they gave a nod and a smirk. As if to say, "Good job bro! Let's do Cross-fit later and compare tribal tattoos!"I am a pretty chill guy, but I would be lying if I didn't say this whole incidence pissed me off. At that moment I said to myself, "Game on f*cker, I am going to choke you out at some point." For the next 5 months my goal was to beat him. Anytime that mat was open, I was there. Anytime we had live rolls, I called him out. After the first couple rolls we would end up in stalemates for the duration of the roll (he really didn't have great technique). Around the 4 month mark, I was putting him in really bad positions. Then, one day it happened! I got him in an omoplata, he summersaulted, I kept his arm, stepped into a mounted triangle, he tapped (kind of quick). Victory!
I don't think he was experienced at being tapped. He punched the mat, yelled, stomped around a bit. When we started rolling again, he really increased the dick moves (e.g., digging finger nails into my hands, bending fingers around to break my grip). My immediate response was to return fire. That would have been the easy response. It happens a lot in gyms. Guys start going hard, one gets a little cheap, the other one pays him back, next thing you know everyone is looking at everyone else with the look that says, "should we stop this?" At that moment I decided no amount of aggression on my part would change his attitude. I simple had to worry about getting better. I still rolled with him, but I ignored him and his dick moves when I could. Also, if you live for beating that one person, what do you do once you beat them? Quit, find another person, join Crossfit?
I feel like there are two types of "that person" at a gym. One is the person I describe above. The other one is the club-mate who beats you all the time, you train hard, and you finally beat them (maybe there is something about them you don't like as well). In that moment, they could get dirty and mad, and maul you. But, they high-five you, say "great job" and let you have your moment. To have someone excited about tapping you really is a huge sign of respect. Maybe you still don't like them, That fine, you don't have to like everyone, but there will probably be a good amount of respect between the two of you.
As you progress from new "Bambi" like white belt, to experienced BJJ practitioner, remember that new guys look up to you. They emulate your style. And once they get a sub on you, it is a big deal. They may even point out it is the first time they subbed you (I remember the first time I subbed our instructor, I floated out of the gym). Give them their moment, high-five them. It is OK to roll hard with them on the next go, but don't be that person who is going to make them pay for a tap by beating the crap out of them. Get better, not bitter.
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